Special Needs Family

Throughout the month of March we met different families each Wednesday.  Even though I've been writing here since the beginning (way back in June of 2008!) my family has gone through some changes recently. I wrote about the changes at The MOB Society and I'd like to share them with you as well!

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Most of the titles we have we get to choose. I was a student, then a teacher, then a wife, then a mom. I’m a pastor’s wife, a blogger, and a homeschooler. But I now have a title I didn’t choose for myself–special needs mom. 

I’m not new to the special needs world. My older sister has Down Syndrome. I grew up going to Special Olympics track meets, hearing my parents talk about IEP meetings, and making sure people knew that the “R” word offended me. But I had no idea how involved I would become as a mom.

When we took our youngest son to the pediatrician for his three year well visit I voiced my concerns about his development. They referred me to the local school district that evaluated him. After spending about an hour with a speech pathologist, occupational therapist, and child psychologist, they were ready with their diagnosis. He has autism. Current stats say one in 150 children in the US is autistic, and autistic boys outnumber girls 4 to 1.

When you hear a diagnosis like autism (or when my mom heard the diagnosis of Down Syndrome) you go through the grieving process. You may be in denial, then sad, then angry.

Then one day (probably one of those days you’re feeling denial, sadness, and anger all at the same time!) God reminds you of His love, His mercy, and ultimately His control. You open His Word and read a promise that speaks clearly and deeply to your need. For me, that verse was Psalm 126:5, "Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

So I have a new label–special needs mom. I’m researching epsom salt baths, GFCF foods and a busy sensory diet. I'm becoming an advocate for my child and for myself. When his pediatrician told me I was "uninformed and uneducated," it didn't make me mad, it made me stronger. (Ok, it made me a little mad, then it made me stronger.) I've already done things I never wanted to do, like send my three year old baby into the doors of the public elementary school because we decided he needed to be pushed out of his comfort zone a little and rise to new challenges.

I’m letting go of my expectations of  “normal” and learning what works for us. Most days I’m still sowing tears. But I’m praising God for the opportunity He has given me with this new title and remembering that my son is fearfully and wonderfully made exactly the way he is (Psalm 139:14).


Sandra is the family editor for Today's Housewife. She's a pastor's wife, mom to two boys and is in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. You can see what her family is up to at Celebrate Every Day.