Our life on sea duty means that our marriage is in a constant state of adjustment. We prepare for Tim leave, say good-bye, adjust to life without Dad, prepare for Dad to come home, experience homecoming, then finally adjust to life together again. Rinse and repeat every couple of months for 2-3 years. Sometimes it can feel like all you are doing is surviving the current phase of your relationship instead of really living and loving each other. And while not everyone is a military spouse, we all have periods of adjustment to change where we can make conscious choices to display love. Maybe it's a move, a new job, a new baby - whatever it is, it's still a choice to honor our husbands.
Here are a few ways I show Tim love as he is away from us:
1. Put family photos in a digital picture frame for him to take with him.
2. Write him honest and encouraging emails.
3. Send cards with love notes to be opened when he needs encouragement most.
4. Gather cards and letters of encouragement from friends and family to send with him.
5. Pack his favorite snacks and treats to enjoy while he's gone.
6. Continue to take our boys to church and do family worship at home.
7. Play DVD's of Tim reading to the boys while he's gone.
8. Pray for him.
I would love some new ideas of practical things I can do for Tim to show him love when he leaves for his next time at sea. What ideas do you have that you can share with me?
My husband is in the army and just left. We're still in the adjusting stage. He'll be going to Afghanistan so we will be able to send him care packages once a month. One thing I'm giving him is a digital photo keychain so that he can carry pics of our family continuously while he is away. We also will try to webcam when possible. I do tape his favorite tv shows and burn them onto DVD and send to him. I constantly email pics of the kids and me and write a daily email with a synopsis of the day so that he can feel like he is involved with all that the kids and I are doing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what kind of sea duty your husband has. I know surface guys can use the actual internet and email pictures which the sub guys can't. It sounds like he's on a fast attack sub which we are. Every time he leaves he gets a small box (pencil box or shoe box) of underway things. It has sweets, some sort of puzzle book, a new DVD and new socks.
ReplyDeleteFor underways:
The boys each pick out a (small) toy to send with Daddy. A train, a little magnet letter, a pacifier ...
I found at Hallmark a few years ago small hearts with names on them. I gave Hubby one with my name on it that he carries in his pocket. It's a little reminder that no matter where he is, he has my heart.
I get cheap cards and write him one for each week he's gone. He has the holiday ones and the "today really stinks" ones, but he always gets at least one a week.
The puzzle book he gets, I get a copy of. We compete to see who can get the furthest until he gets home.
For deployments:
Every day has a note card with the date on the front and a count up with how long he's been gone and a count down with how long until he comes home. The back has a little note. Sometimes it's a silly joke, sometimes it's a "5 years ago today.." and sometimes it's something I love about him.
I make DVDs of me and the boys just being us at home. I put special occasions (Christmas and birthday clips) on it, too. But, it's mostly us just being us. It shows off my son's newest words (he's 2), singing songs and playing. Hubby said his favorite so far was when I set up the camera and just talked to it for a good 30 minutes. It was awkward at first, but it was just me talking to him about our dreams, my favorite memories...
I made us matching friendship bracelets (think second grade) with our favorite colors. We both have them tied on our keys. It's a little thing so we think of each other.
I buy a season of a favorite TV show. I copy it to a hard drive and sent that with him. I keep the actual DVDs. We watch an episode "together" every week.
I can't wait to steal other people's ideas!