Reaching New Milestones

In the next two weeks my two boys are hitting a couple milestones. My oldest David will be heading to 4 year old preschool at our church next week. And my youngest James turns two this Friday. My baby won't be a baby anymore! It seems like everything is moving so fast! Before I blink and my boys are 8 and 6 (or 18 and 16!) I want to remember how much fun they are right now. So here are a few of my favorites things about the stages they are in!

David is hilarious, curious, and sensitive. He is figuring out what makes people laugh and loves telling "jokes" and being silly. Each day brings a new adventure and new questions. "What's this on my knee, Mom?" "That's a scab buddy." "What's a scab?" He is tenderhearted and very sensitive to how Lee and I react to what he does. He's usually quick to apologize when he knows he has hurt or upset someone. He thinks that Daddy is supposed to be playing with him every minute he's home.  He loves to do projects with Mom like painting, gluing, and washing dishes! He is reserved around new people and in new places, but once he's comfortable he's wide open, going full force.

James is adventurous, charming and well, um, hungry. Right now he will climb anything he sees. And if he can't climb it, he'll try to knock it over. He loves to go new places and get away from us to check things out for himself. He has a smile that melts your heart and makes you forget how mischievous he can be! He will come in for a kiss when he knows he's about to get in trouble. "Hungry" may not be an especially enduring description, but it is something about him I don't want to forget from this stage. He'll pick up anything and put it in his mouth! He knows lots of words for foods. In a farm book we read that has lots of animals in it, he only wants to look at the page with the apple tree. He's small for his age, which makes it even more funny to me that he eats so much!

Not every day with these two boys is perfect. Some days aren't 100% fun. But the thing to remember about time is that it never stops! Thanks for letting me share with you my favorite things about my boys at this stage. You never know what will happen tomorrow!

This Week: Time Flies!

To wrap up our month of "It's about Time!" posts, we are talking this week about how time flies. Often when time flies, we forget to really appreciate the moment. This week we are posting on our favorite things about the stages our kids are in right now! Hopefully, it will be a great reminder that everything is for a season in life and we can be thankful for each season!

Our guest post this week is from Stacey Lozano! Here's how she describes herself-

I have been married to a good old Texan for 17 years and we have two boys 15 and 12 who have always been homeschooled. I am a daughter of the Most High King who has recently put me in the Women's Ministry Lead position at my current church. I am a daughter of an Air Force officer and a southern belle. I am an older sister to two by blood and many by love. I am a friend to those who open their hearts to me. You can read my thoughts at My Unfinished Daze or find me on Facebook.

Saving Time

Guest post today from Kristi:

Before I start, let me just say, I’m not a perfect wife by any means. I’m not mother of the year, either. A year ago, my father got sick and it felt like the world came crashing down around us, and it’s taken us the past few months since his death to crawl out from under the rubble. So I’m a little dusty and a little rusty on some things, but I’m stronger and I’d like to think, smarter.

I’ve had this blog entry running around in my head for weeks. When I read that one of the upcoming topics was “Saving Time,” I didn’t even think about it—the next thing I knew, my hands were typing away on an e-mail to Today’s Housewife, asking about a guest post. It must have been God, because I work in education and this is probably the busiest, craziest time of year for me. But maybe that’s exactly why He led me here—He does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?

Here’s the thing: as I’ve gone around and around about this in my mind, I keep coming back to the same thing: for me, saving time is all wrapped up in being organized, efficient, and purposeful. So it’s not just one thing as much as it’s a mindset.

I try to find a balance being organization and chaos in our lives and home. Obviously, my home and life are not as organized as they were before James and I had kids. Seriously—if that’s your marker, girlfriends, let that one go. It’s not possible without letting something important slide (like time with your kids and husband, or being able to ENJOY time with them…and neither of those are up for grabs. So let the other go.) Here are some of the things that work for me, and my family:

--I always, always have back-ups in the cabinet for shampoo, toilet paper, soap, toothpaste, you name it…we don’t run out of anything. When we use one and get another out of the cabinet, it goes on the grocery list and gets replaced immediately so we (usually!) don’t run out. How does this save time, you ask? Well, nobody has to run to the drugstore at 7 AM on school days for toothpaste or hair gel. And that also saves stress, which means my whole day isn’t thrown off…you get the idea.

--One of the things that drives me nuts is mail…I hate to come home and see a stack of mail on the table. When I get the mail, I immediately recycle the junk mail and circulars and open bills, letters, etc. and file them or put them on James’ desk--basically, I put them where they GO. This takes all of 30 seconds every day. But, if I let the mail pile up, how much stress will that cause, and how much time will it take to move the mountain when guests come over…and then, to finally go through weeks’ worth of mail? Ugh—my blood pressure’s up just thinking of it! This works best if you actually have a system for filing bills, etc. Seriously, that saves time, too, because what you need is always at your fingertips…no digging through a ginormous box for that doctor bill from last March.

--Another little thing that makes a big difference is having a schedule, even if it’s an unwritten one. By that, I mean…do the same things on the same days every week if you can. Like, empty the bathroom trash into the big trash on trash day. That way, it always gets DONE. Go to the library on the same day each week (or whenever)…you see how this works. Feed the dog and the fish at the same time(s) each day, or they can get lost in the shuffle. Simply getting things done on a schedule saves time. Can’t explain it, it’s mommy magic.

--Another big stress: Laundry. Try not to let laundry pile up if you can avoid it…pick a couple days a week to run a load or four, depending on how many loads your family creates in a week. Or, if you’ve got the time, run a load each day. But here’s the kicker—fold/hang as things come out of the dryer (or washer, if you’re that awesome). It’s like the mail—it’s quicker to do it as it happens than it is to let it pile up somewhere. Seeing a pile of clean laundry sitting around is just as stressful for us women as a pile of dirty laundry…so avoid piles if you can. There are lots of weeks I don’t follow my own advice, but those are also very stressful weeks around here!

--I’m a big fan of night-befores. So, before we go to bed, my daughter’s backpack is packed and ready for school the next day, her clothes (from panties to socks and shoes) are ready and waiting, and we have a plan for her breakfast and lunch the next day. If she’s taking her lunch, we’ve decided what she’s taking…and if I’m really “on”, her lunchbox and various containers are already sitting out, waiting to be filled. When I’m really, REALLY “on”, my husband and I iron our clothes the night before--at the very least, I know what I’m wearing the next day before I go to bed. That totally saves time in the morning!

--Meals are a great way to spend time…and an easy place to save time (and money!). We have the best weeks when we have a menu and stick to it. What works for us is to go shopping on Sunday afternoon then spend an hour or so cleaning and chopping fruits and veggies so we’ve got a refrigerator full of ready-to-use fresh ingredients all week. This makes us eat healthier, too, because if you don’t use it, it goes to waste and that’s just annoying and, well, wasteful. There are lots of websites than can help you with menu-planning if that’s an area where you need help. Heck, don’t we all?

--This is kind of a memory and time-saving trick…it is SUCH a time-waster to get where you’re going, only to realize you’ve forgotten something and have to go home and start all over again. So, the night before when I’m getting everything ready, I put my car keys WITH whatever it is that I can’t forget. Whether it’s a meal in the fridge to deliver to a friend or my laptop…I know I won’t walk out without my keys, so I have to remember what it is I can’t forget!

--Efficiency is one of the best time-savers. As Moms, we spend a ton of time in the car running from errand to errand, dropping off, picking up, etc. I work from home, which means that I have to really watch the hours between kid drop off and pick up…so I plan errands for while I’m out dropping kids off or when I go back out to pick them up. Another thing that works well is grouping errands—if I need to go to the post office and pay the utility bill, I’ll do both in the same trip since they’re around the corner from each other. If I need to go to the card store, I’ll try to go when I need to go to the grocery store, anyway since they’re in the same parking lot. Yesterday I wanted to pamper myself with a pedicure but I had limited time and some things to pick up from Wal-Mart…so I got my pedicure there. It wasn’t as glamorous maybe as I’d envisioned, but the end result was the same and I only had to go one place. That was worth a lot to me!

--In general, taking a second to do something when it needs to be done makes a huge difference. Around here, if we put one thing on the dining room table, before I can turn around it’s multiplied at least seven times. So, if I notice something out of place, I just pick it up and toss it back into place as I go on about my business. That’s not always possible…but it’s nice when it works. Did I mention I have a toddler who leaves a path of destruction wherever he goes? He kind of kills the whole everything in its place thing…so I just make sure things are pretty much picked up before we go to bed each night. That way, I don’t have that to add to my list before my day even starts tomorrow.

--A few years ago, a speaker at our MOPS group recommended keeping a notebook. I thought it was silly, but I tried it…and now that’s what I give to ALL of my pregnant friends who are about to be mommies for the first time. I don’t have a set system for mine—it’s a place where I keep a running list of what we need at the grocery store, Wal-Mart, what I need to do that day/week…things to buy, gifts to mail…etc. etc. And theoretically, if I was a better Mom I’d jot down the memorable things my kids say and do. But that’s why I blog…

--This one’s touchy, I know…but I totally got sucked into a social networking site (that shall remain nameless) several months ago. Seriously—I’d sit down at the computer to work and think, oh, I’ll just check in real quick. And before I know it, it’s an hour later…so I save time by limiting my time on said social networking site. And I try not to get lost in the blogosphere more than once a day or so…it helps to have a set time, which for me is before the kids wake up while I’m having a cup of coffee, or after the kids go down at night. All things in moderation, right??

I know these things might seem totally random, but that’s just how it is around here. If you’re still reading, thanks for reading this and for supporting the ladies at Today’s Housewife! And thanks, also, to the wonderful ladies at Today’s Housewife or letting me play, too. Now, it’s your turn…what do YOU do to save time? Go on, leave a comment—we all want to know what works for your family!

Kristi says, "I enjoy the best of both worlds, as I'm able to live like a housewife but work as a consultant as well. I've been married to James since 1998, and we have lots of fun with our kiddos, Kayci Clara and Noble Orion. We live in a small town and work really hard to keep the first things first in our lives--faith, family and friends. If you want to know more about my family, visit our blog at The Adventures of the Family Pharaon. If you want to know all of MY secrets, you can visit me at Adventures of MommyGirl. I'm also on Facebook...but I try really, really hard not to spend a lot of time on there! :)"

It works for me! 

Shop Early!

I am not very big on saving time. I think it's because I'm not super organized...even though I have tried to be! I am huge on saving money though.

Have you heard of those people who do their Christmas shopping before the shopping season even begins? That's me! Every year, I try to pick up items throughout the year that would be good for this or that person (even buying stuff the day after Christmas and holding on to it for a year). I then store them in a closet where they wait to be wrapped. I keep track of what I have in a little notebook. This usually saves a lot of money and it also saves a lot of time. Waiting in those long lines to check out just drive me crazy! So I say, get your Christmas shopping done early and enjoy your free time while everyone else is packed in the mall! It works for me!

Back to School

This is a big year in our house. Gone are the days of playing all day everyday. Gone are the days of being leisurely. Today marks a BIG first--the first day of school!! LilE starts K-3 today. She has been involved in a Parents Day Out (PDO) program before, but this year there will be even more structure than before. Plus it is 3 days a week! I know she will LOVE it!

This summer has been a very lazy laid back summer. We have been "slept in", laid around, watched movies, and just played hard with friends. Basically, we have done whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. Thinking about getting up early to be off to school by 8:15 is already making this night-owl tired.

What am I going to do to get every second of sleep I can? Plan ahead and get as much done the night before as possible.

1. Breakfast laid out and ready. LilE wanted cereal for breakfast today. I have the bowl, spoon, and cereal out ready to pour. Her milk cup is full in the fridge. All I have to do is pour cereal and milk. No thinking about what to get. No time wasted gathering supplies.

2. Clothes/shoes ready to dress. LilE likes to pick her own clothes. I will give her the choices and have it all ready for her first thing after breakfast. And having my own clothes picked out will also help to be ready on time.

3. Lunch ready and waiting to be eaten. Staying up an extra 5 minutes to get her lunch ready will definitely help the stress of the morning. Plus, I can hit snooze one more time.

4. Bag packed and ready. We have specific school provided personalized bags to take each day. I have it filled with her tuition check, a change of clothes, and a note of encouragement for her teacher. It will come back home with her work and notes/reminders from her teacher.

Simple. Yes. But these will help the stress of the morning and getting us out the door on time!

Since I am still a newbie, what tips/tricks do you have to help make school mornings run smoothly?

Stretching a Meal

I really enjoy cooking, but the dinner hour isn't exactly a serene and pleasant experience at our house all the time. The kids are often on the downhill side of their moods and behavior for the day and requiring attention. It isn't always best time to be devoting a lot of time and energy to creating a wonderful meal we can all enjoy together. And yet the budget and the waistline don't allow for dining out multiple nights a week. So what's a mom to do? Use the Slow Cooker!!!

Truly, I ♥ my crock pot. It has made my life so much easier. I often use it one or more times per week to simplify our meal planning and dinner preparations. My favorite recipe to cook is one that I have modified from a recipe for Turkey Burritos from my favorite Southern Living at HOME cookbook Fix-It and Forget-It slow-cooker magic. This recipe is perfect for my family. It helps us to stretch 4 chicken breasts for 4 meals that feed our family of 4. It's even allergen-friendly for my little one.

Chile Chicken

4 large chicken breasts

8 oz. tomato sauce

4.5 oz can chopped green chiles

1 cup chopped onion

2 T. Worcestershire sauce

1 T. chili powder

Place chicken in slow cooker. Combine remaining ingredients and pour over chicken. Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours. Remove chicken from cooker and shred with a fork. Return to cooker and mix well.

●I usually use this to make chicken enchiladas for our first meal with flour tortillas, canned enchilada sauce and monterey jack cheese.

●I take the rest of the meat and freeze half of what is left in two separate bags to make chicken quesadillas later in the week or in the following weeks.

●The last half of the meat I refrigerate for another night of chicken tacos. I serve these on flour tortillas with cheese, lettuce and tomato.

It may sound too simple, but it truly stretches 4 chicken breasts to feed us 4 nights! And it keeps me from spending all afternoon in the kitchen - saving both time AND money!

Do you use your slow cooker to save time? What is your favorite recipe?

My Tips for Less Laundry

I feel a little funny giving you time-saving advice. This summer we've done a lot of things the slow way.

It would have saved time to just go to the grocery store, but instead we're growing a garden and buying from local farmers. We're canning what we buy and grow, even though it would save time to just write "can of corn" on my grocery list. It would save time to use disposable diapers, but instead, during the week you'll usually find James in his cloth diapers.

The whole point of saving time in one area is to have more time in another area. My time saving tips this week have to do with my least favorite household chore- laundry!

You can see both of my time saving tips in the picture above. First, I don't fold sheets (or towels)! When I wash and dry them, they go right back on the beds. I never can get that fitted sheet folded right anyway! It's easier for me just to take them straight from the dryer to the bed.

My second tip happened by accident. I went to Carter's a few weeks ago to get the boys new pajamas. But Carter's already had their flannel and fleece pajamas out! They also had their shorts and tee-shirts on clearance. So I bought comfy athletic shorts and tees and those became their new pajamas! There are days the boys and I don't leave the house. If we do run a quick errand, they can wear the clothes they slept in when we go out and about. Also, I take a lot of pictures of my oldest David doing projects for our family blog. Now I don't have to say "let's put some real clothes on" before we do a project. I know this tip wouldn't work for everyone. But with all the outfits my boys go through in a week, anything I can do to decrease my laundry works for me!

This Week: Saving Time

This week we are giving tips and tricks for saving time! Fall is just around the corner. The sun will be setting sooner. The kids are back in school. And everyone's schedule fills up quickly. It seems like the days get shorter and shorter. We hope this week will help you find a few extra minutes in your day with our time saving tips!

Our guest post Friday will be from Kristi Clarkson Pharaon! Here's how she introduces herself-

I enjoy the best of both worlds, as I'm able to live like a housewife but work as a consultant as well. I've been married to James since 1998, and we have lots of fun with our kiddos, Kayci Clara and Noble Orion. We live in a small town and work really hard to keep the first things first in our lives--faith, family and friends. If you want to know more about my family, visit our blog at The Adventures of the Family Pharaon. If you want to know all of MY secrets, you can visit me at Adventures of MommyGirl. I'm also on Facebook...but I try really, really hard not to spend a lot of time on there! :)

image: laffy4K

Old School Girl Time

Over on our Facebook Fan site this weekend we're posting retro pictures of ourselves from girl times we've had together. Check in throughout the weekend, as long as you promise not to laugh too much!

Scrapbooking with Friends

As I was packing for my ‘Girls Weekend,’ I realized that it is the first time I will be away from my 4-month old son overnight and it saddens me, for a minute. Don’t get me wrong, I did worry – for a second – if he would be dressed in a yellow striped shirt with blue plaid pants or that Daddy might forget about his twice-a-day antibiotic. But then I decided that my two older boys have survived a few days without me and this one would, too. And I would be a better Mommy because of it.

Since this week’s topic is Girl Time, I was asked to share my recent experience and just thinking about it excites me because it’s truly my one hobby that I daydream about, wishing I had more time to devote to it. Scrapbooking. It’s awesome. And this weekend was the Creating Keepsakes Convention in Charlotte, NC. This is an annual, 3-day scrapbooking convention and I was fortunate enough to attend this year with two great friends.

At these conventions, you learn the latest and greatest scrapbooking techniques and come home with lots of ideas and completed projects for whatever you are interested in. You see, scrapbooking doesn’t have to be just about making scrapbooks. It also includes card making, wall art and even some random gifts such as a Magnetic Cookie Sheet Message Board, which I am proud to say I made at the convention. It’s super cute and will be a great gift to re-create at Christmas time for the boys’ teachers. I do enjoy learning how to make these creative gifts (and I’m glad someone else has the ideas because I definitely DO NOT) but my main focus is and always has been, on making scrapbooks for each of my boys from birth and on. I don’t always catch every moment on camera or every milestone but I try and then I try even harder to find a way to ‘celebrate’ that moment again in their books. It’s a great feeling when I sit down and show them my latest additions to their books – their eyes just light up and they ask a gazillion questions about the event because they are usually too young to remember. I am preparing myself for the day when they really don’t care about the books because, well, they are boys and I don’t expect them to cherish these mementos as much as I do. Maybe their wives will one day? OK, I don’t even like that sentence.

So the convention was the focal point of my weekend but the company was the best part. I have two amazing friends who enjoy this hobby as much as I do, so it was a perfect combination. When we weren’t at the convention, we were eating. We ate and ate and ate. It was hard for a person on Weight Watchers to ‘behave’ but all the yummy food was so worth the extra pound I will have gained this week. Pizza, sammies, milkshakes, and lots of Starbucks. So I had scrapbooking and scrumptious eats, and lots of silly laughter. I truly believe the saying ‘laughter is good for the soul.’ It just is.

It’s really hard these days to get some time to myself, being a full-time working mother to small children but I felt really refreshed when I returned to my family on Sunday. I slept more than 6 hours in a row, I didn’t get spit up on in a 48 hour span and I got to eat my meals while they were still warm. Without little hands ‘stealing’ my biscuits when I looked away. It was perfect. And it’s just something we need, every now and then, to remind us of who we are and all that we’ve been blessed with in this life to which we do not deserve. Thanks to my sweet husband who is strong, capable and willing to give me this gift, who understands the need for Girl Time and how it impacts my quality of life. Without him, I wouldn’t have enjoyed such a weekend!

Dawn is an accountant and mother to 3 blue-eyed boys, ages 5, 3 and 4 months. She has been married to her husband for 6 years, is originally from Missouri but now a ‘transplant’ to the South, and loves her morning cup of coffee.

Girl Time at Church

When I first got married, I was totally fine with just having time with my hubby only. After we had our son, I quickly realized that I needed time with other mommies and women! I started looking around and found a group on meetup.com and found this great Mommy group that I talked about before. I love getting together with them and am able to find at least one thing a week that we need to go and do!

I talked last week at the Bible Study that the women of my church were doing. That was really a great time of meeting with other women, discussing what God was teaching us and having a great time of bonding. I don't think I would feel as at home at the church as I do had I not taken the time to do the study.

We have also done some other activities at the church such as a movie night at the church where we watched Enchanted April. Everyone brought a movie snack and we watched in the youth room. The night was complete with door prizes and a time of fellowship afterwards. We also got a group together and headed to see Julie & Julia on opening afternoon which was a lot of fun!

There are a lot of activities coming up in the Fall thanks to the women's ministry at our church. I really enjoy these because a lot of them offer childcare and I have a lot in common with these women already! They just recently made a group page on Facebook so we can keep up with all of the activities, like the upcoming retreat, other events and needs in the church. Looks like we'll be starting some "interest groups" too (like quilting, yarn, crafting, etc.). That will be a good way to have fun doing our hobby with others who enjoy it too!

HAPPY 36TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD!

Getaway with the Girls

Twelve years ago, while working at Pine Cove Christian Camps, I took a small personality test. Not the Myers-Briggs that is going around on Facebook right now, but one that labeled me with an animal. The results could be either beaver, golden retriever, lion, or otter. You can learn about the test here and take the test (with results) here.

Each year I took the test the results were the same. I am pretty equal between beaver and retriever. Why am I telling you all about my personality? Because it plays a HUGE part in making friends! Beavers are well organized and know that there is one right way to do things and it must be done that way. Retrievers make good friends. They have deep relationships, but only a couple of close friends.

Five years ago I was in the same situation Alicia has found herself in time and time again...moving to a new location without any friends. Due to my lack of outgoing otter personality, making friends is not an easy thing for me. I am easily overwhelmed with big groups and tend to stand back and wait for others to approach me. (Not a great way to make friends, huh?) But, if you get me in a small group and ask me questions, I can talk your ear off.

Now that you know a bit more about me, let me bring you to the present. After being in our current church for the past five years, I now have a small group of girls who truly are heart friends. We did not immediately become best friends, it took work. We had to spend time with each other in order to know each other more. But after a little work, the rewards are out of this world! I know I can call them at midnight, I can share about how life is a drag, they will rejoice with me when my daughter stays in bed after she is tucked in, and most importantly they love me for all the good and all the bad. They do not judge. They love the Lord and I know they are praying for me.


God knew that this was a season where I would need godly women to walk with me. I am so thankful to Him and to these women. And the best part? We have fun together! Here are a few things you can read that we have done together:

• Bible study
• Mountain getaway
  
• Beach getaway
• and Girl's Night Out-at someone's house or dinner/movie, etc.

What do you do to have fun with the girls without husbands and kids around?

Who doesn't like a little BLING?

Did anybody else sing that song as a kid? "Make new friends. But keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold." I remember singing that in girl scouts, but as a 7 year old it didn't have a lot of context. Especially considering I lived in the same town from the time I was two years old until I went off to college. Even moving off to college wasn't that much of a challenge. I moved onto campus the same day as a couple hundred other freshman - all looking to make new friends. I might have been a little nervous at the time, but it wasn't exactly a hard thing to do.

But moving as a grown up is a little different. I used to imagine our life in the Navy would be an adventure and I would have all kinds of friends in all kinds of places. And it is and I do. But it's not quite as fun and exciting as I thought it would be. Rather, it's challenging and exhausting. Not only do you have the challenge of moving a household and your entire life every couple of years, but you get to find a new church and a new circle of friends. It might not sound that daunting but I find it to be quite overwhelming at times, especially when I consider that we will probably be starting over again somewhere else in another 18 months.

Nevertheless, I know that I need "Girl Time" in my life. I adore my husband and my sons, but there are times I just need to be around other adults. So, I push past my fears and my reservations and try to make some friends. I join clubs of interest like our military spouse support groups. I attend social functions like book club. I find ways to serve in the community and the church. It's not easy, but I know that God has called us to be here. I believe that He is sovereign and that He has placed us here for a purpose. And I'm pretty sure it's not to stay locked inside my house being driven crazy by two young children.

As hard as it is to put myself out there and make new friends, I know that it's what I need to do. I can't be the wife and mother I need to be if hole myself up in my house and never go out. I can't minister to others if I never spend time with them. And I can't be ministered to if I never allow myself to be known. Every where we go, I need a little silver. And sometimes when we leave, I'll take some gold. I guess the girl scouts have given me more than great cookies.

Do you find it hard to make new friends? What advice do you have for women who do move a lot and are faced with the challenge of fitting into a new community?

Wanted: Friends for the Pastor's Wife!

Here at Today's Housewife we pick our topics at least a month ahead of time. So when each topic comes around, we've all agreed to it and know the schedule. But to be honest, this is one of those weeks I wish we could put off. I don't want to invite you all to my personal pity-party, but I do want to be honest with what I'm struggling with right now, and what I'm doing to about my struggle.

If you've read the blog for a while, you may know my husband is a pastor. We moved from North Carolina where we attended seminary to Pennsylvania a year and a half ago. We love it here! We love the church and really feel like this is exactly where God wants us. It's definitely hard to be away from our families and friends, but we try not to dwell on that.

But it is hard (hard, hard!) for me to have friends in the church! I mean real, deep, good, talk about everything, tell it like it is friends! For example, I get invited to a lot of things. Showers, weddings, Sunday School parties, birthday parties.... but sometimes I know it's just because I'm the pastor's wife and they feel obligated. Then other times I don't get invited because I'm the pastor's wife. ("I would have invited you, but I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable," in other words, "We didn't want to be on our best behavior.")

And let's face it, there are somethings you just don't want to know about your pastor. If Lee and I are struggling with something in our marriage, I can't really confide in the ladies in the congregation. I don't want anyone picturing him always leaving his dirty socks in the middle of the floor, especially when he gets up to preach. Not that I want them to think he's super-human or anything, I just always want to show him respect, especially in front of our church members.

So, after a year and a half of experience, I've decided a few things about forming friendships as the pastor's wife. I can either dwell on the relationships I don't have, or enjoy the relationships I have!

First, I go along with just about anything someone invites me to! For example, Friday a group is going on a zip line tour at a nearby ski resort! We try to do girl nights together about once a month. Instead of focusing on the ones I'm not invited to, I just organize or host my own! I try to invite new ladies every time. That way I don't get the reputation of being "cliquish." Plus, I may really click with someone I just haven't had the opportunity to be around yet! Facebook is a great tool to help me do this. I just plan a night, put it on my Facebook status, and anyone who wants to come can come!

Second, I rely on my mom and other friends for the serious stuff. It is easier because I can talk about "so and so" with out my mom really knowing who it is. I talk to friends who know Lee as just Lee, and not "Pastor Lee." These relationships are so important to me!

I have formed friendships with other pastors' wives, who not only have been there and done that, but are still there and still doing it! I've also formed friendships with ladies I really only know on-line. I contribute to Clutch, a site for pastors' wives of all denominations, and recently found a site specifically for Southern Baptist pastors' wives, Contagious Joy. Even though I don't know the women in real life, I can feel a connection through their blogs and on Twitter.

Most importantly, I don't expect friends to fill a hole in my life. It is only through God and my relationship with Him that I am truly whole. I must continue to rely on Him for my needs. If I don't, I'm in danger of creating an "idol" that takes His place. God, His Word, the Spirit living in me- these bring me comfort and encouragement.

I know pastor's wives aren't the only ones who struggle making and maintaining friendships. I hope that sharing what's on my heart this week will encourage you to be thankful for the friendships you have, or even encourage you to make a new friend. I'm sure your pastor's wife is available for a girls night soon!

This Week's Topic- Girl Time!

This week we're talking about girl time! Whether it's an hour with a friend for a pedicure, or a weekend away with a group of girls- we all need some girl time occasionally.

Although the days of preteen slumber parties and college dorm parties are behind us, we can still make time for friends. This week we will share some of our favorite things to do with our friends. We hope this week inspires and encourages you to make a date with some friends soon!

photo by Rachel D.

A Quiet Time Routine

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." ~ Psalm 19:14

This verse is the foundation of my pursuit of Christ … that my actions (words) and attitudes (thoughts) may always be pleasing to Him. And, for me, that always begins with time spent in the Word of God. I crave that quiet time alone with my Bible and journal. I need it … just ask my husband or daughter what I’m like when I miss a day or two ~ it gets ugly quick!

Over the past few years I have had the privilege of mentoring about 15 women and each of them struggled with the concept of “quiet time” … making it work and feeling like it was useful. We all know we should spend time in the Word and in prayer but it sure is hard to know HOW to do it. The biggest issue most of these ladies have had is that they feel like they are not hearing from God … and they end up discouraged and ultimately they give up.

Perhaps you can relate to that frustration. I know there have been times in my life when I certainly felt like I was spinning my wheels spiritually. Beth Moore has said that we must base our lives on God’s truth not our feelings … and that may be no more relevant anywhere than in our quiet times with God. How often do we gauge the success or effectiveness of our quiet times on our feelings? Far too often, I’m afraid. But, how we feel isn’t the standard … God’s Word is. And Scripture is replete with admonitions to spend time in the Word and in prayer … of the necessity of knowing Scripture as a means of protection and blessing in our lives.

I usually end up sharing what I do and encouraging women to start from there. Not because what I do is the only way … but it is a starting point. So, here’s my general quiet time routine:

I get up before everyone else (at least during the school year … summer finds my rhythm out of whack!). I have a motto of sorts, “I never speak to anyone until I have listened to God.” There is something very peaceful and comforting about praying for my family and spending time with God while everyone is still asleep.

I journal first thing … whatever is going on. If I’m worried or happy or even just what is going on that day. I write out the things that are on my mind, which helps me get my heart and mind settled so I can be still and listen.

I read from a classic (preferably over 100 years old). This year I am using “Streams in the Desert” and have been greatly touched by this classic devotional. I prefer using something “old” because there is trustworthiness to these writings that have endured. I journal whatever stands out to me.

I read a chapter of Proverbs … correlating with whatever the date is. This is a Billy Graham idea and I have been doing it for about the last 10 years. Again, I journal what the Lord speaks to me. If you ever feel like you don’t understand what the Bible is saying … read a chapter of Proverbs! I can almost guarantee you’ll find something you can immediately apply.

Finally, I pray. I use my schedule for the day to lay out what each of us will be doing. I use my prayer list from church and I pray through the needs in my life.

Nothing amazing or mysterious. I usually spend some additional time during my day studying or going through a Bible study. But I start my day with Proverbs, a classic, and prayer.

Let me close with a word of encouragement and challenge from Psalm 119:10 - 11 …

“I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you.”

Oh that we may be seekers of the Lord and hiders of His Word!!

Thanks to Teri Lynee for guest posting for us today! Be sure to visit her blog at Pleasing to You and connect on Twitter @TeriLynneU

Stepping UP

I don't know about you, but I am horrible at starting and finishing a Bible study. I can do it in a group or on my own, but the result is usually the same...the last meeting arrives, I don't have all of it finished, I put it on a shelf and forget about it. This, for some strange reason (I think it's the amount of homework really), is especially true for Beth Moore Bible studies. I love them, I just can't ever finish them...until now!

This summer at church, we started Stepping UP a journey through the Psalms of Ascent. I really liked it from the start and tried to find time every day to do the thirty minutes of homework while my son was taking a nap. This didn't happen every day, but I was able to stay on track for the most part. Yesterday was our last meeting and I still have seven days of work to do, but it is so good, I am determined to finish and get out of this study ALL that God wants me to learn. I have already learned so much!!

Here is a sample of what I have learned going through these Psalms:
* God is for us!
* The Lord surrounds His people!
* Sow the seeds, don't eat them!
* Fear the Lord and multiply!
* The enemy will not win because God is faithful.
* Wait for the Lord!
* Nisi Dominus Frusta.

I went into this Bible study with kind of negative attitude because I knew that so much would be expected out of the homework. I was so pleasantly surprised to not only learn so much about God, have lessons that were applicable to my life RIGHT NOW, spend time with God, but I also got to know the women in my group so much better and feel much more at home in the church. What a blessing this study has been.

If you are interested, there is a video introduction to the study here and I know you can purchase and download the videos online if your church is not offering this study.

"May the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, bless you from Zion." Psalm 134:3

Mountains and Valleys

Most, if not all, of us have had spiritual highs and lows. Highs after camps, conferences, answered prayers. And lows when life gets in the way, disappointments arise, and prayers seem to hit the ceiling.

To be completely honest, right now I am in the midst of an extreme low. God seems so far away. My faith is struggling.

I know in my heart how good God is, how he is there for me all the time, in good times and bad. But my everyday is not seeing his goodness these days.

And yes, I realize how selfish I am. If I look at my life, I have lots and lots of blessings surrounding me. But, those prayers are still unanswered and therefore I see my life as without.

And yes, I also realize I am the one who has to take the first step. God is standing before me with open arms waiting for me to return to Him. He loves me. He is there for me. He completes me.

But I must take that first step forward. I must choose to spend time with Him. I must make Him the priority in my life.

I am looking forward to the fall Bible study kickoff to have that time of learning about His Word and accountability with godly women. I also look forward to the day when the mountain top is in sight and I can be on that spiritual high once again.

If you are struggling, know you are not alone. And know that God is right there beside you waiting for you to return to Him, just like He is waiting for me.

image source

Forming Habits with Accountability

Finding a consistent method for my quiet time has always been a struggle for me. It seems that when I'm not involved in a Bible Study with other women I have a difficult time carving time out of every day to spend with the Lord. It's not that I don't want to spend time with Him. I have good intentions each day. But the everyday muck that is "life" creeps in and my quiet time is always the first thing I seem to sacrifice in my schedule.

As a mother, there are so many good things vying for my attention. I have a home to clean, babies to change, children to play with, laundry to fold, dinner to make, etc. I'm sure you can add another dozen items here from your own list. But then there are hundreds of other distractions that pull me away from the things I need to do - Facebook, blogs, television, the phone, books. None of those things are bad on their own, but there are only so many hours in the day and if I fill them up with the less important items there is no room left for those I love most. One solution that has always helped me is small group accountability. Whether it is a Bible Study at church or just meeting with a good friend, knowing that other people are depending on me to get my study completed for the week is a great motivation for carving out that precious time with the Lord.

I know that as much as a struggle it is for me to find that consistent time to spend with the Lord, He blesses me each and every time I come to Him and His Word. And slowly He is growing my desire to know Him more. I can only guess that this will continue to be a struggle in my life as long as there are distractions. I'm just so grateful that His Grace doesn't depend on my ability to serve Him perfectly!

Is setting aside that time for prayer and study difficult for you? Has accountability to other women helped you in this struggle?

Bible Study vs. Prayer

At church I teach a ladies' Sunday School class and we sometimes talk about finding the right balance of study and prayer. Some of us are faithful to study our Bibles every day. Some of us are prayer warriors. But few of us are good at both studying and praying. Why does it feel like such a struggle some days?

Overall, I am consistent in reading my Bible every night. But I'm a reader. I was an English major, then English teacher, then seminary student. Reading is what I do!

Currently, my Bible study method is to read from my one year Bible reading plan. I mark one verse that really stands out to me. I then look up that verse in a different translation or use my Hebrew/Greek Key Word Study Bible to dig deeper. The next morning I read the marked verse again and meditate on it throughout the day.

For example, Saturday night part of my reading was from Deuteronomy chapter one. Verse 31 really stood out to me, "....the Lord your God carried you as a man carries his son all along the way you traveled until you reached this place" (HCSB). I continued to think about the beauty of that verse throughout Sunday. That afternoon, my three year old fell off his bed and hurt his toe. I'm not sure how badly he was actually hurt, but for the rest of the day he wouldn't put any weight on it. When I thought about the love my husband has for our son as he carried him and cared for him, I was reminded of the verse and the picture of God carrying me. Sometimes my husband carries our son because he is hurt. Other times it's because he is scared, weary, or even disobedient. On the days I am hurt, scared, weary, or disobedient I can rest in God's arms. What comfort that verse and the application brought me!

Right now, my prayer life is really lacking! I pray a few quick prayers throughout the day- for specific requests that come through the prayer email chain at church, or from friends on Facebook and Twitter. I pray with my boys at nap time, bed time, and meal time. But I struggle to really focus on talking and listening to God. I've tried different helps before. Keeping a prayer journal has worked well for me. I know it is just a matter of priorities and discipline. But I just can't get back in the habit of praying for more than just a minute or two.

Can you relate to my struggle? What do you do to help get you back in the habit of prayer?

This Week: Quiet Time

This week we are talking about our quiet times- the time we take to read our Bibles and pray. We've mentioned before how this blog sometimes feels like having 300 or so accountability partners, and this is one of those weeks! We will share with you what works for us and the areas in which we struggle. Please join the conversation by posting what works and doesn't work for you in the comments or on our Facebook page. This is an important area and I know we could all use some encouragement and ideas!

Friday you will hear from gust poster Teri Lynne! Here's what she has to say about herself- I am a 30-something (for a few more years anyway!) pastor's wife and mother of a beautiful 9 year old daughter. We live in south Georgia where Scott is on staff at Blythe Island Baptist Church. My days are filled with volunteering at the crisis pregnancy center, helping at Casiday's school, assisting Scott however I can, and trying to keep "Laundry Mountain" from overtaking our home. I love to teach, study, and write. I'm about halfway through with my first manuscript - a life goal in process! But above all, my heart's cry is to know - intimately and passionately - the Lord Jesus Christ!

Visit her blog at Pleasing to You and connect on Twitter @TeriLynneU