And There's So Much More to Learn

We spent a lot of time writing about marriage this year, but I think I'll never stop learning how to be a better wife. Whenever I start to become prideful about how far we've come as a couple, God invariably has another big lesson to teach us in our marriage. Marriage is not about happiness, but holiness. I could write for days about all the things I've learned and I could definitely write volumes on the ways NOT to behave in a marriage, but here are a couple of things that stand out from my time with Tim.

1. Lose the critical spirit, especially around other women.

There's nothing like a good gripe session to bring your marriage down. "Venting" often turns into "what's wrong with men" and "Oh wait until you hear what my husband does." Instead of encouraging each other to love our husbands better and support them, we tear them down and look for qualities to nit-pick.

2. Focus on what he does right.

Sandra wrote about this yesterday, but it's too important not to say again. There are so many wonderful qualities that my husband has, why do I often think about the few things he does that annoy me? Besides, just because it's MY way doesn't make it the ONLY way to do things.

3. Don't neglect spending time together.

There are obviously seasons of life that this is easier said than done. Military deployments, new babies, travel for work and other circumstances can make it difficult, but don't make a habit of spending all your free time apart. You can maintain a relationship with someone you never see or talk to.

4. Find a local church.

For Tim and I this made all the difference in our marriage. We studied the Bible together, worshiped together, ministered together and found more mature couples to spend time with and learn from. I cannot emphasize enough that not just attending, but being part of a local Christ-centered fellowship will improve your marriage - no matter how long or short it's been.

What stands out as a life-changing lesson in your marriage?