Choosing to Do Him Good

Our inspiration behind this week's post is Proverbs 31:10-12, "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."

What an awesome challenge to wives! To do our husbands good. This could include a hundred different practical things. It influences our attitude, our decisions, our time-management- so many areas of our daily lives.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't always have my husband's good at the top of my list. I don't intentionally choose to do evil, but my selfishness and laziness are hindrances. It would do my husband good for me to have all the laundry done and put away before it's time for us to get in bed. But, instead I watch American Idol and put off finishing the laundry. Then I just forget until we walk into the bedroom and find the bed covered in wrinkled clothes.

But this post isn't to share with you all the ways I don't do my best (thanks goodness!). Today I want to talk about the practical ways I show my husband how much I love him.

First, I pay attention to what his interests are and get involved. He likes basketball, so I may look on ESPN.com and find out the score of a big game so we can talk about it. I try to learn more about basketball so we can have intelligent conversations about it. He's always impressed when we watch a game together and I talk about the full court press or agree with him about a traveling foul. And it's not limited to sports, we talk often about theological issues and current events. If I see something on-line that I think he would be interested in, I read it for us to talk about later.

The second area I show my husband love concerns his job as a preacher. I keep up with his appointments and meetings. I plan our meals around his schedule. If he has a meeting at 7:00pm, he usually comes home for lunch but not dinner. So I cook a big lunch and make sure he has food for later too. Because he does a lot of counseling and "putting out fires," I try to be sensitive to the emotional demands of his day. It's a hard job to share the burdens and problems of a congregation. Sometimes he wants to talk about it. Sometimes he wants to be quiet and just think. I'm learning to read the signs and anticipate what his needs may be.

When he preaches, I am an active listener. I know on the way home from church he will ask my opinion. I make sure to start with the positive, and when appropriate, we talk about improvements. For example, a couple years ago he was working on the invitation at the end of the service. I paid special attention so we could talk through what was clear and what he may want to work on. Because I was an English major and teacher, I help him by proof reading his sermon notes and power points. These are a few ways I help him in his job.

Finally, and the hardest for me, I show him grace. This is really something I've been convicted about lately. I find myself being harder on him than anyone else in my life. He unloads the dishwasher, but doesn't put the knives in the right place. He takes the trash out on his way to work, but doesn't put a new trash bag in the trash can. Instead of focusing on what isn't perfect, I show him grace and love. I am so thankful for all the things he does around the house and for me and our boys. He's so helpful I sometimes take that for granted. I forget that not all husbands change so many diapers or miss a Sunday afternoon nap so their wives can have time on the computer!

Proverbs 21:9 says, "Better to dwell on a corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife." I don't want my husband to run to the roof! I want to make our home a place where he knows he is loved. I want our marriage to reflect the grace we have received (and continue to receive!) from God. Each practical way I love him takes effort on my part. It takes prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit. But it is worth it to know that my husband can trust me and trust my love for him!

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